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Man’s prayer

14 April 2016

A married man's prayer:
Dear God, you gave me childhood, you took it away.
You  gave me youth, you took it away.
You  gave me a wife.  It’s been years now,  just reminding you.

Marital tales
Wife : Shall I prepare Curry or Soup today?
Husband : First make it, we will name it later !!!!!
-o-
A frustrated husband in tells his laptop: “Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife. Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing and suggesting!
-o-
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
“My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home for?”
Husband answers: “Because he’s thinking of getting married.”
-o-
Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home?
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But there we have a lion tamer!!!
-o-
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
No! That was the deal. :)
-o-
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, “the food looks delicious, let’s eat.”
Wife: Honey, you say a prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That’s at home, sweetheart. Here, the chef knows how to cook.
-o-
Best Slogan on a man’s T-Shirt: “Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed!”

Brainless
Husband: I found Aladdin’s lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did you ask for darling?
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.
Wife: Oh, darling...love you so much. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed. He said multiplication doesn’t apply on zero.

Money
Money has many different names;                     
In temple or church, it’s called donation.
In school, it’s fee.
In marriage, it’s called dowry.
In divorce, it’s called alimony.
When you owe someone, it’s debt.
When you pay the government, it’s tax.
In court, it’s fines.
Civil servant retirees, it’s pension.
Employer to workers, it’s salary.
Master to subordinates, it’s wages.
To children, it’s allowance.
When you borrow it from a bank, it’s loan.
When you offer it after a good service. it’s tips.
To kidnappers, it’s ransom.
Illegally received in the name of service, it’s bribe.
The question is, When a husband gives to his wife, what do we call it?
The ANSWER: Money given to your wife is called DUTY, and every man has to do his duty because wives are not DUTY FREE.



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