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Election jokes

14 May 2016

Despite the heated exchanges of lies and accusations, the recent elections have provided new opportunities for the emergence of new Filipino jokes.
Ano kaya ang lasa?
A sample:
From Alma Moreno: “Whoever wins tomorrow will be declared the winner.”
From Daisy M:
Manny Pacquiao has a promise: “I will author a bill against death penalty. I will call it ‘saved by the Bill’.”From Sandro Marcos: “Also, the total votes for president are not the same total for Vice President. What the hell #Dayaang Matuwid
From Divino Dacayap:  “Gagawa si Pacquiao ng bill: Save by the bill.”
From AJ Wang:
Ngayon ko lang na-realize ang talino pala ng “Robredo”.
Bakit?
Kasi ano ang raw bread?
Dough.
From Dim Poquiz:
Top 4 na babagsak ngayon:
4. Ekonomiya.
3. Crime Rate.
2. Benta ng mga inuman.
4. Ako, kasi wala pa ako naaral after 3 days.
From Jai Cabajar-dashian:
“Uy, bumagsak na yung crime rate sa Pilipinas.”
“Gaga, population ‘yan.”
From Danah Pascual:
#NoToBBM #YesToViber
From farahlord:
“Du30’s speech if DU31:
Hellew Pilipinas! Si Du32.
From Lani_KathNielz:
Ba’t ganon: 12 milion na ang boto kay Duterte, eh 7 million lang lahat sa mundo?

Mapagbigay
Habang nagmamaneho ang bus driver ay may sumakay na lola at umupo sa likod niya.
Maya-maya ay binigyan ng lola ang driver ng mani, na agad naman niyang isinubo.  “Lola bakit namimigay' kayo ng mani?” tanong ng driver.
“Hindi ko kasi manguya. Naubos na kasi ang mga ngipin ko,” sagot ng lola.
“Eh, bakit pa kayo bumibili, kung ipinamimigay lang ninyo?”
“Eh, kasi,” ika ni lola. “Masarap ang chocolate na nakabalot sa mani na iyan.”

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